You know AngryBadgerGirl from "The Naked Guy Upstairs" (TNGUS) and you know LittleSecret84 most recently from "The Brown Study" and also "Age of Consent". Well, these two authors just happen to be friends and I asked them to do a little interview for us. They decided the best way to do that was on G-Chat. It turned out to be a funny and enjoyable way to get to know these two lovely ladies...
AngryBadgerGirl
LittleSecret84
(her name is Serene)
ABG calls her Ser
AngryBadgerGirl: Hello!
Ser: Hey!
AngryBadgerGirl: Okay, let’s start.
Ser: Okay.
Ser: (crickets chirping)
AngryBadgerGirl: You mentioned doing word association. I like that idea.
Ser: We can see if it turns out funny. Also, people asked if we’re going to be interviewing each other as enemies.
AngryBadgerGirl: LOL, why?
Ser: I don’t know why they think we don’t like each other. Who knows?!
AngryBadgerGirl: Well, since we’re Turk/Armenian we should maybe start fighting at some point? You know, to keep shit real?
Ser: Ha, of course!
AngryBadgerGirl: Hello, and thank you for reading this. You probably don’t know why you are, and honestly, I don’t know why you are, either. Ser would probably agree.
Ser: I’m pretty sure there’s no one here but us.
AngryBadgerGirl: Well, not now.
Ser: Ha ha, I meant whoever’s going to read this. :P
AngryBadgerGirl: But maybe when this gets enbloggerated or whatever?
Ser: Anyway, I do agree.
AngryBadgerGirl: Sandy will have to because it’s her blog, and I feel badly for her already.
Ser: Hi, Sandy! There, we have reached out to our entire audience.
AngryBadgerGirl: Indeed! So Ser…you are LittleSecret84.
Ser: Uh huh.
AngryBadgerGirl: And you are currently writing Brown Study.
Ser: You could say that.
AngryBadgerGirl: Where did you get the idea for your story? Such a fucking boring question! Sorry.
Ser: Eh, what can you do? You know all the exciting things about me.
AngryBadgerGirl: Trufax.
Ser: Um, I have no idea! I was finishing up my first story, and I knew I wanted to write a story that takes place when both Bella and Edward are teenagers. I also thought it would be interesting to give Bella a gift in an AH story. The rest just came to me as I started writing ideas down. I could go into more detail, but that would bore you.
AngryBadgerGirl: No, please, I love being bored! And for the really, really uninformed and obviously lacking in any awareness of what’s going on around them, explain the premise and what Bella’s gift is exactly.
Ser: You mean not everyone reads my story? I’m hurt.
AngryBadgerGirl: IT IS A NATIONAL TRAGEDY.
Ser: I KNOW, RIGHT?
AngryBadgerGirl: I weep for you.
Ser: Clearly, they’re too busy reading mediocre stuff. But I digress. Bella has dreams. She refers to herself as “sorta-psychic,” but most of her dreams are about a man.
AngryBadgerGirl: Yes, they are reading mediocre stuff. Crap like TNGUS.
Ser: Yes, precisely. TNGUS. I hear the author has a nice rack.
AngryBadgerGirl: What a piece of shit that story is! But go on about Brown Study. So, Bella dreams about her dreamboat…
Ser: Bella knows that her dreams are visions of her future, and this man is beautiful, he loves her, he wears a hat. Are we done? Can we talk about the Naked Guy now?
AngryBadgerGirl: No, because I need to talk about how big Hat Guy’s dick is. Because that’s all that matters.
Ser: Obvi. But sadly, we’re not there yet in the story.
AngryBadgerGirl: Wuuuuuuut? They need to fuck already!
Ser: Yes, nine chapters in, and nothing wet has met anything hard.
AngryBadgerGirl: PSHAW! You’re going to make them develop feelings and shit, aren’t you?
Ser: I plan on keeping my current readers and acquiring new ones by dragging out the so-called “UST” until Edward finally gives in, and Bella spreads her legs. Promptly after this takes place, there will be a misunderstanding of epic proportions. Edward will do something extremely douchey. But we will forgive him to get to the green eyed, brown-haired babies in the epilogue. Now are we done?
AngryBadgerGirl: Nooooo! Is the douchey part necessary?
Ser: Always! Have you never read fan fiction before?
AngryBadgerGirl: You know how I’m allergic to douches!
Ser: You’re just not deep enough to understand them, ABG.
AngryBadgerGirl: Non sequitur: I’m drinking $3 red wine through a straw right now.
Ser: Klassy!
AngryBadgerGirl: Look, I gotta drink the wine just to cope.
Ser: They’ve been through so much. The pain, the suffering...they are too complex for you to comprehend.
AngryBadgerGirl: The angst is killing me!
Ser: I know! Talking to the likes of me must really suck for you.
AngryBadgerGirl: It’s fucking raining angst around here.
Ser: Where are you? I see no angst.
AngryBadgerGirl: Where am I where? LMAO
Ser: Relax, darling. After angst we get rainbows and sex. Or angsty sex—my favorite.
AngryBadgerGirl: Your questions are confusing and frightening me! I’m like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.
Ser: Must you flaunt your various degrees from institutions of higher education?
AngryBadgerGirl: YESH! No one would believe it otherwise. I’ll send you a fax of my degree or scan it or whatever.
Ser: It’s really tacky, ABG. I mean, it’s like me telling everyone about my MA in Middle Eastern Studies and my JD from a pretty awesome law school.
AngryBadgerGirl: ORLY? Such a liar. I bet you were 15 when you went to college too, huh?
Ser: Sixteen. But anyway...
AngryBadgerGirl: OMG, you couldn’t manage it by 15? How sad for you.
Ser: :( Yes, just like I’ll never manage to have 10,000 reviews. It’s a tragedy.
AngryBadgerGirl: A NATIONAL TRAGEDY.
Ser: I download KStew gifs and smoke a lot of weed to cope. It’s a difficult life. A painful existence.
AngryBadgerGirl: You do what you gotta do, bb. I drink $3 wine and pop Klonopins like they’re Flintstones vitamins.
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh hey, word association!!!
Ser: Yummy. I loved those vitamins! Oh yes. Let’s.
AngryBadgerGirl: Let’s play word association! I’m SPAZZING RIGHT NOW! Okay, you start.
Ser: Okay. Here’s one: leaf
AngryBadgerGirl: ROB’S PENIS
Ser: Kristen’s vag
AngryBadgerGirl: BONG WATER
Ser: Dirty
AngryBadgerGirl: ROB’S PENIS?
Ser: Ser’s mouth
AngryBadgerGirl: ROB’S PENIS
Ser: TomStu
AngryBadgerGirl: ROB. AND HIS PENIS.
Ser: GOD!!
AngryBadgerGirl: Okay, my turn.
Ser: Okay.
AngryBadgerGirl: Tarantula
Ser: Scary
AngryBadgerGirl: Vampire
Ser: Count Chocula
AngryBadgerGirl: FOLDS
Ser: Wet
AngryBadgerGirl: Cock milking
Ser: ABG’s avi of a girl milking a rooster
AngryBadgerGirl: Ministrations…I feel like we’re playing $10,000 Pyramid… “CLICHÉS YOU READ IN FANFIC!”
Ser: Let’s just say Rob’s penis a lot, or Edward’s, rather.
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh, it’s magical.
Ser: Edward’s is clean and beautiful and it twitches all the time.
AngryBadgerGirl: Just the word ‘penis’ is good enough. PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIS
Ser: Ew. Wow, I can’t believe I just ‘ew’d’ peen.
AngryBadgerGirl: What, it scares you now?!? Are you feeling okay?
Ser: I’m not sure. Do you think people have flounced this interview by now?
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh my God, if they ever even started, they’re long gone.
Ser: Okay, ABG. Four letter word that best describes you.
AngryBadgerGirl: GOOF.
Ser: LMAO
AngryBadgerGirl: For sure. I always keeeeeed. I’m never serious.
Ser: Never, ever?
AngryBadgerGirl: No, it’s overrated.
Ser: It goes back to your lack of depth, which we covered above.
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh, I am so shallow.
Ser: You and your fluff!
AngryBadgerGirl: Except my girl bits...Edbert, that’s the only deep part of me. Can we pretend he’s reading this?
Ser: Edward or Rob?
AngryBadgerGirl: SAME DIFF.
Ser: RIGHT, I FORGOT! SAME PERSON. Okay. But first, I must say something.
AngryBadgerGirl: Say it, out loud.
Ser: Get your filthy long fingers off my woman, motherfucker. Okay, I’m done.
AngryBadgerGirl: I thought you were talking to me and I was very confused.
Ser: No, but let’s discuss fan fiction, shall we?
AngryBadgerGirl: Yeah, yeah okay.
Ser: Who are your favorite Bella and Edward?
AngryBadgerGirl: Ack, I have a bunch.
Ser: First: the ones you wrote. Second: the ones you’ve read.
AngryBadgerGirl: Aw, come on. Don’t make me sound like a jackass.
Ser: No need to explain yours.
AngryBadgerGirl: My own? Do I have to?
Ser: Just name them.
AngryBadgerGirl: TNGUS and Prunella.
Ser: Yeah, dude. No explanations of why they’re awesome needed. And the rest?
AngryBadgerGirl: Fave of other fics? Damn, I can’t name just one pair.
Ser: Not a pair...random Bella and Edward
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh, okay. Well, I LOVE Rebelward from Dead Confederates. Like, to an absurd degree.
Ser: Yes, you always have great things to say about that story.
AngryBadgerGirl: It’s just so different in style and tone. The narration uses a lot of southern colloquialism. Just different and cool. I also love the Bella from Falling for the First Time. She’s very geeky, but what’s great about her is that she guesses Edward is a vampire straight away—the minute she meets him, because she’s a geek and loves sci-fi/fantasy.
Ser: Ha ha, that’s pretty awesome!
AngryBadgerGirl: She thinks it’s cool as shit that he’s a vamp.
Ser: Okay, has reading fan fiction ever made you cry? Like, bawling, real tears, your soul has been ripped apart?
AngryBadgerGirl: Yes, not often, but yes. Poughkeepsie made me cry.
Ser: Awwwwww. You love hobos.
AngryBadgerGirl: Yes, yes I do. What about you? Who are your faves?
Ser: Hmmmm. Well, they change constantly.
AngryBadgerGirl: I hate to make you choose between Brown Study and Age of Consent but I’m gonna make you.
Ser: Oh, I can’t.
AngryBadgerGirl: YOU MUST!
Ser: Uch. Okay. Age of Consent.
AngryBadgerGirl: YES. I wanted you to say that!
Ser: I don’t know the other Bella well enough yet.
AngryBadgerGirl: It’s not because I don’t adore Brown Study, but because I just LOVE the love story in Age of Consent.
Ser: It’s like a real romance.
AngryBadgerGirl: Yes, it is.
Ser: I like writing crap like that. But as for the rest of the Bellas and Edwards, at the moment, I’m obsessed with Bella in Just Wait.
AngryBadgerGirl: I haven’t read that but I am familiar with the story BECAUSE YOU CRY TO ME ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME.
Ser: And Edward from Burn and Shine, as well as Edward from Hydraulic Level 5 (although I gave him the side-eye a few times while reading the last chapter).
AngryBadgerGirl: I’m here to wipe your tears, Ser.
Ser: I know. My tears and nasty mascara. But my dear friend who-shall-not-be-named writes my favorite “Edward” ever, and he’s not really an Edward, but he’s wonderful. I WANT YOU TO READ ANGST, ABG!
AngryBadgerGirl: I can’t, my real life is angsty enough. I laugh to keep from cryin, bb.
Ser: OMG wait! WAIT. REWIND.
AngryBadgerGirl: Rewind what?
Ser: MY FAVORITE EDWARD…IS FIFTY…HOW COULD I FORGET?!?
AngryBadgerGirl: OMG, YES!
Ser: Fuck!
AngryBadgerGirl: HE IS GONNA SPANK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR NEGLECTING TO MENTION HIM. Just sayin.
Ser: Oh, the Red Room of Pain awaits...my poor bum.
AngryBadgerGirl: You better bend over and take it, woman.
Ser: Honestly, I think Fifty is really struggling, but at least in their love-making he has become quite tender.
AngryBadgerGirl: Awww. I don’t read it, but it’s on my list. So, he doesn’t need to swat Bella’s backside all the time?
Ser: Not at all, and it’s actually very sweet. He just knows that in order to keep her, he has to accept the fact that she is not a sub. And he’s at least willing to try, which is a huge step.
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh hey, we’re supposed to be interviewing each other. More specifically, you’re supposed to be interviewing me. Allow me to showcase how big of a pretentious ass I am. As I recline upon my settee, I ruminate over where this fantastical voyage known as fan fiction writing will take me. Oh, to channel the muses when I put quill to parchment!
Ser: Um...la la laaaa. How about you ask me something important and deep?
AngryBadgerGirl: Lemme think. Okay, when you write a story, what is the most important thing you want to come across in your writing?
Ser: Kristen has great legs? :( Sorry, it’s difficult for me to think about anything...difficult.
AngryBadgerGirl: LOL. You asked for a deep question!
Ser: I write in the first person, and in present tense—like you. I want the reader to feel like they are in Bella’s head. Sometimes she describes nothing, and all we get are her thoughts. What she sees and does describe must be important, because why think about it consciously? I just want to write like she thinks, and I want to get her personality and mood and emotions across to the reader. Now send that to our wonderful beta and tell her to make it look pretty. :P
AngryBadgerGirl: Ha ha. Oh, Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeena! Honestly, I doubt even she’s reading this.
Ser: Probably not. Okay. What’s your favorite part of the whole process? Of writing a story?
AngryBadgerGirl: Hmm. Actually not such a tough question for me.
Ser: I wasn’t trying to give you a tough one. I’ll do that next.
AngryBadgerGirl: Because to be honest, there’s only one thing I think I can do well, and that’s write dialog. I hear the characters talk in my head. I picture them in certain scenarios and write down the exchanges that they have.
Ser: You do an amazing job writing dialog.
AngryBadgerGirl: Thanks. It’s my favorite part because it is the easiest for me, and I’m lazy like that. When I started TNGUS, this scene just popped into my head. What would happen if a really uptight girl moved into a new place and her neighbor was this major playboy? But the first thing I thought of was her seeing him naked and being appalled.
Ser: Poor Bella.
AngryBadgerGirl: Well, it’s humor at her expense, unfortunately, because her reaction is...ya know…funny.
Ser: Well, yes. You wrote it!
AngryBadgerGirl: Eh, I don’t look at it like that.
Ser: If you did, you’d kinda be a conceited ass. :P
AngryBadgerGirl: Heh heh. True! I just write funny situations with people saying funny things to each other.
Ser: Okay, I think we should ask questions that will be VERY difficult to answer. Like, you should put me on the spot and make me squirm.
AngryBadgerGirl: Alright, this is a touchy one. Why do you think people keep harping on the age difference in Age of Consent? Can you see why people latch onto that? Does it bother you when they refer to that Edward as Pedoward?
Ser: Well, pedofic is disgusting, and they automatically assume that if Bella is under eighteen, any relationship between her and Edward (an adult) is illegal.
AngryBadgerGirl: Right, but didn’t the same thing happen in the original saga?
Ser: Oh NO. Edward was frozen in time! He was seventeen!
AngryBadgerGirl: Uhhh, he didn’t act 17. He acted like my grandpa.
Ser: People always ask me why I chose a ten-year age difference, and why I don’t go back and edit that part. The difference is that big for a reason. Does it squick you out? It should just a little bit—but ultimately, I wanted to see if people understood that he loves her as an equal. And no, it doesn’t bother me at all! I call him Pedoward all the time. Most of the people who call him that do so affectionately.
AngryBadgerGirl: I mean I think the whole point of the age difference in your story is that sometimes age really is just a number. What matters is how compatible people are emotionally and intellectually.
Ser: In canon, Edward is seventeen, but acts older. You made a great point. The way Bella accepts everything he says/does really bothers me. In Age of Consent, Edward TRIES to make decisions for her a few times, and is immediately shot down.
AngryBadgerGirl: Oh in the original saga, he acts like he is way superior to her, in many instances.
Ser: I wanted to show that SMeyer didn’t have to make Bella the weaker one.
AngryBadgerGirl: I think a lot of good fic writers make the effort to craft a Bella who is a person in her own right.
Ser: If my Bella had acted like canon Bella, I wouldn’t let her NEAR twenty-six year old Edward. I don’t think he’d be as into her. Okay, I have a question for you. If you had to rec one VAMP story, what would it be?
AngryBadgerGirl: Hmmm—tough one. I’d probably say La canzone della Bella Cigna by philadelphic. It’s really well written.
Ser: Yes, people love La canzone. She’s a great writer.
AngryBadgerGirl: Do you have one all-time favorite story? Not just vamp, but any genre?
Ser: Yes—Tropic of Virgo. She’s a poet. It’s so beautiful. And Spark and Pretty Boy are wonderful. It’s almost magical, reading it. It has my favorite lemons, too. And the sweetness kills me. Another story that is equally wonderful is HL5—but I won’t even get into that one now. You’d be comforting me and drying my tears again.
AngryBadgerGirl: I’m here for you, sweetie. You know that.
Ser: I’m here for YOU.
AngryBadgerGirl: For me? Lil ole me?
Ser: Well, most of the time... ;)
AngryBadgerGirl: Yeah, well, whenever you can pencil me in, I’d appreciate it.
Ser: LOL! Mwah!
AngryBadgerGirl: Right back atcha.
Ser: I’m sleepy. And hungry.
AngryBadgerGirl: I’m sleepy, but eating dinner. Hey, I think we covered a lot of ground. Maybe we should shut up now.
Ser: Yes. Leave the readers with a few wise words from the great ABG.
AngryBadgerGirl: Erp. Okay, people. Don’t hate me, but I think angst is overrated. Read and write more stories about the how great it can be to fall in love, and how happy it can make people, because that’s what life is all about—trying to be happy. God, that was trite and stupid.
Ser: :D An important message, indeed.
AngryBadgerGirl: What are your wise words?
Ser: Save your hard earned dollars and don’t see Remember Me next week—save those dollars for The Runaways, instead. In five years everyone will ask, “Rob who?” (Goodbye, followers!)
AngryBadgerGirl: LOL. Wait, I have more wise words.
Ser: Go on…
AngryBadgerGirl: ROB’S PENIS
Ser: Yes, let’s give a HUGE round of applause for the TRUE STAR of this fandom.
AngryBadgerGirl: ROB’S PENIS
Ser: Aaaand we’re out.
AngryBadgerGirl: BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE! Wait, how do I save this thing?
Ser: Er.
AngryBadgerGirls Profile Page: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1758044/AngryBadgerGirl
Littlesecret84's Profile Page: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1900606/littlesecret84
I want to thank you for taking the time to read Southern Fan Fiction Review and for getting to know these two authors much better. I urge you to try their stories and their favorite stories that they mentioned in the interview. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Do you know 2 fan fiction authors that just HAPPEN to be friends in Real Life? Would you like to see them interview each other here? Let me know. Do you LIKE the interviews? I hope you have a Great Week!!
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